There has been a bit of a break with the holidays and general yuletide mayhem. Back at it.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years, “Marc,” has been talking a lot about marriage lately. I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. There is, however, one fly in the ointment: I was born a biological male.
I have never felt like a man, Abby. I have lived as a woman since high school, and when I was 25, underwent surgery to change my sex. I have never regretted my decision and, up until now, my family has always been supportive.
As I have always been a woman in every way that matters, I have never seen any reason to tell any man I’ve dated that I was born with male genitalia. My brother recently asked me if I had told Marc about my surgery and was shocked to learn that I had not.
He implored me to tell Marc, but I feel that my past is completely irrelevant to our relationship today. My brother thinks that I am obligated to confess to Marc, and he has threatened to tell him if I don’t.
Marc loves me very much and would support me no matter what, but I have left my past behind me, and I feel no reason to needlessly disturb our relationship. How do I convince my brother to let this go? — AT A LOSS IN NEW YORK
DEAR AT A LOSS:Although you may not think that the fact that you are a transsexual is relevant, it is presumptuous to think that you can speak for Marc. He needs to know the whole truth, and to keep it from him could constitute fraud. You did not mention whether he is planning on having children with you, and, loving him as you do, you need to be fair to him.
A marriage that is based on a lie is no marriage at all. It would always hang over you, and surely there are many others besides your brother who know about your sex change. My advice is to tell Marc everything before someone else does. Your future with him could depend upon his hearing the news from you — and nobody else but you.
Ok folks… now that I’ve regained my composure I can respond. That was some of the funniest shit I’ve read in a long, long time.
The only thing that you are at a loss for is a fuckin’ grip on reality. Abby is pretty much on target again which is something I’m beginning to grow used to, oddly enough. However, she left out some things. I know she’s not so quick to judge others and that’s something she needs to work on. Anyway, you should really think about this closely. Marc is in love with a woman. You do not qualify as such. Just because you grew tits doesn’t mean they’re natural – you still purchased the hormones (that’s IF you didn’t just get implants). Having tits and an inside out pecker doesn’t make you a woman. And you said it yourself – you’ve always FELT like a woman in all ways that matter. I think being born with a ding dong really matters. I hate to break it to you but, no matter how you slice it, you’re not a woman. So you better tell Marc. I would be out of arm’s length when I say it, if I were you. I also recommend being out of range of any high powered firearms.
Another good point that Abby brought up was about the kids. Were you just planning on faking impotence or what? You’re conniving enough to have this planned out and I think that if you’ve made it this long with this guy then chances are that you know he doesn’t want children in the first place.
So you think that the past doesn’t matter. Let’s have a pretend situation for a moment; sort of how you pretend that you’re not some sick degenerate. Let’s say that right before he proposes, Marc tells you that he’s actually been married twice before but he’s brutally killed both of his wives – over a small white lie. Does that past matter now? I think so, considering you just folded the hammer inside and started lieing about it. Some people have a real problem with gay sex – they’re known as heterosexuals.
Somebody is going to tell Marc sooner or later so you might as well do it now. This way you stand a chance that he’ll simply break up with you and walk away whereas, if you tell him after you’re married, he may just kill you in your sleep. Honestly, even if he’s twisted enough to be ok with marrying a He-She, why on Earth would he be ok with someone who’s lied for so long about something so severe?
So here’s what you should do: Tell Marc that you’re a lunatic and can’t marry him or be with him anymore. Do NOT tell him why though. I know that if I were him and I found out that I had been plowing an inside out pecker for X amount of years; I’d be QUITE upset. Better safe than sorry. So break up with him and leave him forever – then go kill yourself. I know this is harsh even for me, but your actions are SO far beyond acceptable. You must definitely have taken hormones because I can quite fully see that you have a fair emount of irrational energy running through you. You’ve also ruined another trend – this is the first time that a Dr.Viggy article addressed to a woman hasn’t ended with an overt suggestion that you take all your clothes off and ring my doorbell. On the contrary, keep them ALL on and stay far, far away from me.
UGH! I need a shower now.
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