DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were invited to a dinner party at which the hostess seated my husband at the main table next to her. She seated me at a far table in the corner, with my back to the dinner guests.
Fortunately, I made easy conversation and had a nice time, but I don’t feel like accepting any of her invitations in the future. My husband scarcely noticed and wonders why I might not care to be invited again. May I know your thoughts on how to handle this? — DIANA IN SAN FRANCISCO
DEAR DIANA: When a couple is invited to a dinner party, and the husband is seated next to the hostess, it is customary for his wife to be seated next to the host of the party. By seating you in “Siberia,” the hostess demonstrated not only a breach of etiquette, but also how little she cared about your feelings. Explain that to your husband, and perhaps he’ll get the message.
Angelic Abby missed the boat on this one entirely. Only as someone too pure of heart to have been laid inside of a decade would fail to notice – the hostess is getting filled out like an application by your dear ol’hubby. The writing is on the headboard.
You both get invited and he gets seated at the main table right next to the hostess. Not only did you get overlooked on the chair you were assigned to but you didn’t even get to sit at the same table. You were only invited to keep away suspicions. And when you showed up you were placed far enough out of the way to be a nuisance.
Make no mistake, your husband noticed. He simply pretended like it didn’t happen because discussing it might cause the tone of his voice or reaction to give it all away. He doesn’t truly wonder why you don’t want to go back. He knows damned well why you don’t want to go back. You are an attention monger and you didn’t get it that night and now you’re throwing a tantrum over the whole thing and if you go back, the cycle repeats. His”wondering” is another part of the clever ruse to downplay that there is anything going on.
Maybe if you stopped whining long enough to Abby about why you had to sit so far away, you’d have time to please your husband and prevent him from seeking the attention of another woman. Or maybe you’re just a big enough pain in the ass that he requested you sit far away just get a break.
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